the complications of having cancer during a pandemic

2020. A feeling of hope for the new decade until it became known as the year the pandemic hit. One of the most devastating years for so many people. As a nurse, I took care of numerous people who lost their lives to Covid-19, and it is tragic that their loved ones experienced such loss. I will never forget working as a travel nurse in communities needing extra help to combat the craziness of Covid-19. I will also never forget the end of 2020. My husband, Nolan, and I had just celebrated Thanksgiving together, and then a couple days later, felt sick and ended up testing positive with Covid. After quarantining for ten days in our tiny studio apartment, I remember going back to work and feeling grateful that we didn't get too sick, as well as looking forward to the new year; after all, 2020 was the worst year ever... right? And then to our dismay, I ended up being diagnosed with breast cancer on December 22nd, 2020, therefore, making 2021 top 2020 for worst year ever.

As a nurse, I had already seen the despair and frustration that patients and their families experienced while patients were admitted to the hospital with severe illness and unable to have any visitors. My heart broke for them as they were all alone, sicker than ever, afraid for their lives, without the presence of their loved ones. And then the tables turned, and I became the patient who was alone and afraid, wishing my husband could be there just to hold my hand to get me through each appointment. Although I was fortunate to have a mild case of covid-19 and didn't require hospitalization, I had my fair share of appointments during the pandemic when strict restrictions were in place. Because of my rare circumstances in being both a nurse and a patient during the pandemic, I figured I should share my unique perspective.

After working with strictly Covid patients and hearing only about the pandemic in the news, I honestly somewhat forgot about the many other illnesses and diseases that patients were combatting, and I think it's safe to say a lot of the world did as well. Even though I was personally involved and affected by Covid, and also recognize its significance, I remember feeling like nothing else in the world mattered when I received my diagnosis. Out of the blue, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 26 years old. Not only was this extremely shocking given my age and health history, but I think anyone would agree that receiving a cancer diagnosis is not something you ever expect to receive, let alone have to go through somewhat alone.

I will never forget going in to get my "stat" ultrasound and being told Nolan could not come to my appointment with me because of visitor restrictions. As a nurse, I was well aware of these rules and understood why they were in place, but that didn't make it any easier. I was actually at work taking care of all Covid patients the day I received the phone call with my diagnosis and ended up leaving work early. On that same phone call, I was also informed that I needed to go back in the next day to get another biopsy to see if the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes as they saw some questionable images on my ultrasound. After just receiving a devastating diagnosis with concerns that it may have progressed even further, and having four more biopsies done without my support system there with me physically was one of the most intimidating things I've ever had to do. I felt anxious, scared, and alone, and did my best to hold it together during the procedure, only to burst into tears as soon as I left the building.

Fast forward a few weeks, I came back to Michigan (my home state) to receive care at the University of Michigan. Since I was a new patient, my first day of appointments was supposed to last 6-8 hours; I would meet my oncologist and breast surgeon, have numerous labs and tests, and wait as the physicians I just met reviewed my records from out of state and presented my case to the tumor board to create the best treatment plan for me, all while Nolan and my parents waited in the car. It's a mouthful to even type all that, and I look back wondering how I got through that overwhelming day all by myself. Sadly this trend continued, and I had multiple days of chemo without any visitors allowed. There were a few days I was lucky to be in a private room for chemo with one visitor thanks to my cousin, who by the grace of God is an infusion nurse in my clinic; But my heart breaks for so many others who went through chemo and other procedures without a single visitor.

All this being said, being a cancer patient is always difficult. But being a cancer patient during the pandemic is possibly even more difficult. Not only have I had to face things alone, but I also have to constantly worry about getting sick because I'm immunocompromised. For those who may not understand, bear with me and let the nurse in me provide some education about what being immunocompromised means. Due to certain medications (in my instance) or medical conditions, peoples' immune systems can become weakened or compromised, therefore putting them at higher risk for infection. People often associate cancer patients as being immunocompromised, and while this is true, there are many other populations who are also immunocompromised such as those with organ transplants or those who have certain chronic diseases. All of these populations are at a much higher risk for contracting an illness or infection because their bodies are unable to fight back like a normal immune system would. Because of this, it can be that much scarier living day-to-day life during the pandemic.

Thankfully, I've been fortunate to have most of my family and friends take extra precautions around me, but when I go out in public, it's definitely intimidating. While I don't want to turn this into a political or controversial post, simple things such as wearing a mask and getting vaccinated help me as well as other immunocompromised people feel that much more comfortable. Yes, I may look "normal" now that my hair has grown back, but even though I've completed IV chemo, I'm still on oral chemo which has actually suppressed my immune system even more. This means I will most likely have to be extra cautious to prevent myself from getting sick for the rest of my life.

The crazy thing is I remember getting my blood drawn annually as a child in the same cancer center (for non-cancer-related labs), and observed some of the cancer patients wearing masks. Now I totally understand why they did so, because it is vital to protect yourself from sickness as a cancer patient so you can continue your treatment plan and medications. On top of that, my immune system is already fighting really hard because of the cancer, so getting sick can also negatively impact my ability to fight cancer as well. This is why it's so important to take precautions to fight any illness, but especially Covid-19.

Ultimately, I just wanted to share some of the unique difficulties and frustrations I've experienced while living through the pandemic, so others can better understand and be mindful. I hope my rare point of view will encourage others to take proper precautions as you never know what other people are going through. I also want to point out that even though I've been living my life and doing things in public, there is always a significant risk when I do this. I have made the personal choice to go out into the Covid world so I can experience some sense of normalcy and live life to the fullest, but I know not all immunocompromised people feel comfortable doing so. I hope this post raises awareness, and pushes people to go the extra mile during this pandemic to show some kindness and take the proper precautions to help other people (immunocompromised or not) feel more comfortable in their day-to-day lives. I also hope this post won't be relevant for much longer and the stupid pandemic will end soon!