Cancer doesn't stop after chemo

Cancer and chemotherapy. These two phrases tend to go hand in hand, but just because someone has completed chemo, doesn't mean they don't have cancer anymore. While you may think to yourself, "yes, I know chemo doesn't always cure cancer," I wanted to bring this to your attention because it can sometimes feel as though others have forgotten I'm still in treatment. Don't get me wrong, I'm consistently blessed by my amazing family and friends, but now that it's been over a year since my diagnosis, I've definitely noticed the cards, care packages, and flowers have slowly started to dwindle away. While I realize this is just a part of life when it comes to hardship, I want to vocalize for my fellow cancer thrivers and me that our lives are permanently impacted by a cancer diagnosis. With a stage IV diagnosis, you don't just stop treatment after chemo. In fact, I will be in treatment for the rest of my life.

Receiving chemo was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I hope I never have to experience the side effects of chemo ever again including the extreme fatigue, appetite suppression, nausea, heartburn, and hair loss. It truly kicked me in the butt. I remember after losing my hair, feeling like a true cancer patient. There was something about walking into a public space, feeling as though everyone was looking at me and automatically knew I had cancer because of my lack of hair, or the headscarf I was wearing. I hated this feeling, and remember fearing that people would first identify me as a sick person, or someone with cancer.

While I pray I never have to relive those moments, there is something about looking like a cancer patient. People were able to tell I had cancer without me having to say a word. And now that my hair is growing back (yay!!!), strangers can no longer tell that I'm going through the toughest fight of my life. They just think I choose to have short hair! While I'm overjoyed that my hair is growing back, my life is still forever changed. There is not a day that goes by where I don't have to worry about what the future may hold, or what new injection or medication I'm going to have to try out next. Just because I'm generally feeling well, and I don't physically look like I'm in active treatment, I still face challenges on a daily basis. Almost every week I have to go to the cancer center to get my blood drawn, receive injections, or meet with my oncologist. On top of that, I need scans every three months to check on the growth of my cancer.

While having stage IV cancer definitely requires more medical attention, I've talked to plenty of women who've had a lower stage of breast cancer and are now in remission who still experience these same feelings. While they may not have as many doctors appointments as me, many others are still on medications for years, and in the back of their minds are wondering, "does this pain I have mean my cancer is back?" or "how long do I need to be on a juicing diet?"

The point of this post is not for pity. It is to raise awareness that having cancer isn't only difficult at the beginning, but is burdensome for the rest of your life; And it can be really difficult once the realization hits that everyone else's lives will move on like normal, whether or not they can help it, and that my life is forever changed and includes continual hardships and stressors despite the amount of time that's passed.